This was taken from an article on meditation in May's edition of Shambala Sun, written by Christina Feldman.
"When we embark on the meditative journey, we may enter through many different gateways. Both sorrow and joy can bring us to a point where we acknowledge the urgency of finding ways to be more at peace with ourselves, to be kinder, and to be more present in all the moments of our life.
Practicing with sincerity, persevering through the peaks and valleys that are part of every spiritual path, we begin to discover that practice does indeed bear fruit.
But this is not the end of our journey. Rather, the journey has now truly begun."
This resonates for me as I approach the final seven days of my 40 day journey. I have traveled through the desert y'all! Many, many different gateways. And I do feel as if my journey has just begun (again.) I am looking forward to what the 'next steps' will be...I am blessed to be spending a week alone, in retreat, at the completion of this 40 day round, and my focus will be "now what?"
In the coming days, I will be sharing my thoughts about this and hope that others may feel inspired to do the same. Peace.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Day Thirty-Two
Moses parted the Red Sea with God's help. Has anyone had a similar experience on their journey? Where you were able to accomplish something miraculous with the help of divine grace? I have :)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Day Thirty-One
My journey has been such a profound, personal experience and I haven't gone into much detail on this blog. But I can tell you that yesterday, a huge piece of a puzzle came together. A lot of this journey for me has been about family of origin and boundaries, about forgiveness and freedom, about loving without giving myself away, and honoring the divine within without looking for external validation.
Yesterday I spent over 4 hours in mediation with my ex-husband over financial matters. This has been going on (dragging on) since last October and has weighed heavily on my emotional and physical body. There were times when I couldn't even deal with all the paperwork and legal communication that needed to be done. And the cost of all of this has been weighing on me as well. I felt deeply that my ex-husband needed to have this legal "battle" with me - to keep us engaged in a power struggle - and so he could feel that "justice was served."
Over the months, I went through the gamut of feelings, but as of yesterday, acceptance was my biggest emotion. Acceptance and inner strength. And that is what I brought to our meeting. There were a few moments of tense emotion, but overall, it was uneventful and eventually settled and papers were signed. In the years since we have been divorced, I unconsciously hoped that my ex would come to see me as a good person; as someone worthy of respect. I don't think that will ever be the case (maybe yes, maybe no) but what I have been letting go of is the need for him to see me as such. And that feels like freedom to me. And I'm basking in it today.
xoxo
Yesterday I spent over 4 hours in mediation with my ex-husband over financial matters. This has been going on (dragging on) since last October and has weighed heavily on my emotional and physical body. There were times when I couldn't even deal with all the paperwork and legal communication that needed to be done. And the cost of all of this has been weighing on me as well. I felt deeply that my ex-husband needed to have this legal "battle" with me - to keep us engaged in a power struggle - and so he could feel that "justice was served."
Over the months, I went through the gamut of feelings, but as of yesterday, acceptance was my biggest emotion. Acceptance and inner strength. And that is what I brought to our meeting. There were a few moments of tense emotion, but overall, it was uneventful and eventually settled and papers were signed. In the years since we have been divorced, I unconsciously hoped that my ex would come to see me as a good person; as someone worthy of respect. I don't think that will ever be the case (maybe yes, maybe no) but what I have been letting go of is the need for him to see me as such. And that feels like freedom to me. And I'm basking in it today.
xoxo
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Day Twenty-Nine
Journey check-in...here is a list of themes that Sage proposed for this 40 day journey.
~life as an orphan
~loss of innocence
~initiation: Egyptian, Hebrew, Today
~40 - the cycle of transformation
~hearing and answering the call
~finding your purpose
~the rigid taskmaster and the unruly slaves-turned- free-people
~the need to strengthen the will
~despair and loss
~wandering lost in the desert looking for the promised
land
~trusting that your needs will be met
~a code to live by
~the power of prayer and it's relationship to intuition,
visions, and dreams
~faith, trust, and letting go
~what does all this have to do with Jesus Christ, our
Judeo-Christian heritage, and our spiritual roots.
As I read over this list, I feel inspired to do some journaling on each of these topics and how they have directly applied to me. The only one that didn't resonate for me is the last one because I tend to avoid thinking about Christianity and Jesus Christ...but maybe I need to look at that...hmmm.
~life as an orphan
~loss of innocence
~initiation: Egyptian, Hebrew, Today
~40 - the cycle of transformation
~hearing and answering the call
~finding your purpose
~the rigid taskmaster and the unruly slaves-turned- free-people
~the need to strengthen the will
~despair and loss
~wandering lost in the desert looking for the promised
land
~trusting that your needs will be met
~a code to live by
~the power of prayer and it's relationship to intuition,
visions, and dreams
~faith, trust, and letting go
~what does all this have to do with Jesus Christ, our
Judeo-Christian heritage, and our spiritual roots.
As I read over this list, I feel inspired to do some journaling on each of these topics and how they have directly applied to me. The only one that didn't resonate for me is the last one because I tend to avoid thinking about Christianity and Jesus Christ...but maybe I need to look at that...hmmm.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Day Twenty-Eight
Have you ever practiced non-judgment? On yourself? My favorite parable is the one about the old Chinese farmer who has a son who breaks his leg and all the villagers say "What terrible news!" and the farmer says "maybe yes, maybe no." A few months later all the young men from the village get drafted to fight a terrible war and many men die. The farmer's son does not get drafted, due to his injury, and all the villagers say "Oh! You are so lucky!" and the farmer says "maybe yes, maybe no."
The message I take from this story is: don't judge. It doesn't serve. I like to take it a step further and try and be grateful for that which I might normally judge as 'bad.' Acceptance, surrender, softening are all words that help me do this. Recently I got into a downward spiral about where I'm at in my life. I'm 43, I have moved around a lot, I haven't worked at one job for a long period of time, I'm not an "expert" in any field, I know a little about a lot, etc. I was comparing myself to some of my friends who have slowly and steadily worked towards goals and are enjoying the fruits of their labor, and I was coming up short (in my opinion.) Luckily one of my favorite spirit guides (in the form of my husband) spoke some sage words to me and shifted my perspective. I am a human being on the path, I have a light in my heart, I love. That's enough for today.
This post is dedicated to the little baby born in India a month ago that has two faces. Had she been born in the West, she might be viewed as an abomination, a freak of nature. But she has been born in India, where she is worshiped and loved as the reincarnation of Durga. What an inspirational re-frame. It's all about perspective and the open heart. Peace.
The message I take from this story is: don't judge. It doesn't serve. I like to take it a step further and try and be grateful for that which I might normally judge as 'bad.' Acceptance, surrender, softening are all words that help me do this. Recently I got into a downward spiral about where I'm at in my life. I'm 43, I have moved around a lot, I haven't worked at one job for a long period of time, I'm not an "expert" in any field, I know a little about a lot, etc. I was comparing myself to some of my friends who have slowly and steadily worked towards goals and are enjoying the fruits of their labor, and I was coming up short (in my opinion.) Luckily one of my favorite spirit guides (in the form of my husband) spoke some sage words to me and shifted my perspective. I am a human being on the path, I have a light in my heart, I love. That's enough for today.
This post is dedicated to the little baby born in India a month ago that has two faces. Had she been born in the West, she might be viewed as an abomination, a freak of nature. But she has been born in India, where she is worshiped and loved as the reincarnation of Durga. What an inspirational re-frame. It's all about perspective and the open heart. Peace.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Day Twenty-Seven
A note from the Universe:
Don't be afraid. You needn't slay the beast nor scale the entire mountain. That's not how it's done. You only need to move through today. Think of the distance you've already covered. Focus on your strengths. Let each new step remind you of your freedom. Let every breath you take remind you of your power. Seek out friends and guides; they're anxious to help. You're not alone. You're understood. This road has been walked before. Dance life's dance, just a few steps at a time, and in the wink of an eye you will wonder to yourself, "What beast, what mountain? Was I having a dream?"
Love you,
The Universe
love this...xoxo
Don't be afraid. You needn't slay the beast nor scale the entire mountain. That's not how it's done. You only need to move through today. Think of the distance you've already covered. Focus on your strengths. Let each new step remind you of your freedom. Let every breath you take remind you of your power. Seek out friends and guides; they're anxious to help. You're not alone. You're understood. This road has been walked before. Dance life's dance, just a few steps at a time, and in the wink of an eye you will wonder to yourself, "What beast, what mountain? Was I having a dream?"
Love you,
The Universe
love this...xoxo
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